Berlusconi's staff paints over a bare nipple in a Tiepolo (reproduction) in the Prime Minister's official palace.
(Note the correctly observed "Nude artwork rarely offends in Italy". I mean, ok, totally trivial and not worth getting all upset about, or even a bit -- but to me just another sign of the man's delusions. And I do mean that in the clinical sense.)

Where did I put the garlic? ...maybe I should go over to St Theresa where they have a holy water tap...

I got a letter from Berlusconi. Even in a different country I'm not safe! He's coming to get me!

He also persistently addresses me in the masculine. More funnily, he uses the colloquial "tu", but with the (stuffy) formal capital letter.

He says that the left taxed people and left rubbish around Naples, which ruined our image abroad. (His criticism of the left-wing government focuses exclusively on how it made Italy look bad abroad. As if that was what keeps me awake at night.[1])

He reminds me that it was his government that allowed people like me to vote from abroad (he does not specify that it was his proudly-ex-RSI[2] "minister for Italians abroad" who did that). He appears to think that I want to "adhere solidly to the values of western civilisation". Also that I'm likely to approve of a "loyal and clear alliance with the U.S.A."

He closes with "I hope I will have Your vote too so I can manage to win this new, exciting challenge in the interest of all Italians and of our beautiful Italy."

I am almost tempted to answer.

I suppose I should make garlic ink first, though.

EEEK! I hadn't noticed! In the "fake-handwritten" salutation at the end, he hugs me! I think it's off to St Theresa with me, it's my only hope...


[1] He probably has a point when it comes to most people who get to vote as "Italians abroad" though. There are reasons why that law was pushed by the far right, and specifically the minister mentioned below.

[2] Not Repetitive Strain Injury. Repubblica Sociale Italiana, aka Repubblica di Salò.

The centre-left won the election.

By a hair. Which will be contested.

To be more exact: the centre-left won the majority in the lower house, by 49.8% vs 49.7%, or about 25,000 votes -- this is not a typo (but will get a very large bunch of extra deputies because of the "majority prize"). In the Senate, the right got 155 senators, the centre-left got 154, but the votes of Italians abroad still have to be counted. That's 6 senators, which apparently will be either 3-3, or 2 to the right and 4 to the left. It would be funny if we turned out to decide the fate of the Senate.

But there are also senators-for-life, who are almost all on the left, which is why the leaders of the centre-left felt they could announce "we won".

All in all, never seen anything so close. I'm happy "we" won, but far too many people voted for the right. And more specifically, far too many voted for Berlusconi.

But. A happy note. I've been following the results live on an Italian left-wing radio (in streaming on the net). In Rome, a lot of people were doing the same in a piazza in front of the HQ of the centre-left coalition. Once the victory was announced, at 2:45 am, a good chunk of the crowd walked to Berlusconi's house in Rome, which wasn't far, and started chanting "Siamo coglioni! Siamo coglioni![*]" ad lib under his windows. I really liked that. Call me vindictive. Unfortunately I'm sure he was already awake.


[*] "We are dickheads" (literally, "we are testicles").

Bono has written to the Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, complaining about the use of his picture in a magazine listing the government's achievements ahead of next week's elections.

I mean -- Bono complaining that his picture gets seen by a lot of people? It took Berlusconi to manage that...

In a copy of the letter sent to the Prime Minister printed in an Italian news paper today, the singer says that flattering as the use of the picture may be, he feels a bit exploited.
Bono added that Mr Berlusconi's government had still not fulfilled pledges made at a G8 conference in Scotland last year.